when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
