apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
smell my finger.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
