I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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