yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
