I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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