Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize