I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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