I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
