Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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