A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My liver just had a heart attack.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
