I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Randomize
