There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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