Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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