I'm lost and stupid without you.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
