Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
