Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
