it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
