her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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