A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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