new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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