just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
