there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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