Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
its not stalking. its research.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize