if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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