You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize