is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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