i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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