i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
