just come out here and I will go home with you...
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
His hands were made for my vagina.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
