Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
