god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
