Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The uberlube is also flammable
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
