If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
