he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
