I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
