Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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