just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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