Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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