Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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