it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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