so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
