I got chris browned last night
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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