Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize