I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
