just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
