She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
