suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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