Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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