The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
