Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I look better un-naked...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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