He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
