I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
