I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize