Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
