so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
