I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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