Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The power of my boobs compel you
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
