Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
