Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
