he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize