So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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