I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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