You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
